Toad or Frog: Either Way You're Getting a Bath!
by Chaotic Symbolism
Summary: Formerly "Operation: Toad Bath" When the guys learn the common toad smells like vanilla they set out to make Todd bathe more regularly, but the Toad won't submit so easily. However Pietro might just convince him otherwise, but will he come to regret it?


Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.

**Toad or Frog: Either Way You're Getting A Bath. **

The Brotherhood Boys minus Todd were in the boarding house living room just lazing around on a typical Saturday when their missing number came in with a sheet of paper in hand.

"Hey guys do you think I'm more of a frog or a toad?"

"What?" Pietro asked snapping out of his daze.

"What do you think I resemble more a frog or toad?" Todd repeated.

"Aren't they the same thing?" Fred questioned.

"Actually no they're not." Todd told him. "For one thing frogs have narrow leaner bodies with smooth moist skin that makes them look slimy, while toads have wider fatter bodies with rough, dry, bumpy skin that makes it look like they have warts."

The guys took a look at "Toad" for a moment and silently agreed in that case he looked more like a frog then a toad.

"Okay I think I see where you're going with this." Pietro said. "Go on Toad tell us more."

Lance looed at him incredulously. "You actually want to listen to Toad's talk about the differences between frogs and toads?"

"Hey it'll give us something to do." Pietro shrugged, "and could be educational for Blob here." Fred frowned and shot him a look but didn't say anything.

Todd seeing this as his cue continued. "Frogs have longer hind legs that help them take longer jumps, while toads have shorter less powerful hind legs that they either run or do small hops rather then jump with."

The guys recalled all the times they seen Toad make leaps that would make Olympic athlete cry with envy. Winner: Frog.

"Frogs, well Tree Frogs anyways, have these cool toe pads that let them cling and climb vertical surfaces, toads don't."

Once more the Winner was Frog.

"Frogs usually live near water, while toads usually live on land. Those who live around water have more distinctive webbed hands and feet." Todd holds up his webbed hands for emphasis.

Since none of them had ever seen Todd swim before they'd leave that one alone.

"Frogs have higher, rounder, bulgier eyes, while toads have lower football shaped eyes."

Since Todd didn't even have a frog/toad shaped head they left this one decided.

"Frogs have many predators, while toads have less predators because their skin lets out a bitter taste and smell that burn the eyes and nostrils of it's predators like a skunk does."

"Is that why you always smell so bad?" Fred asked. "Well that and you only take a bath once a month."

"Actually frogs and toads can smell like all sorts of things some smell like onion, some smell like garlic, and the common toad smells like vanilla!" Todd read off completely missing the look and silent message shared by the others. "So what do you guys think?"

Todd then noticed the others had surrounded him. "Guys? What are you doing?"

"I think its time you bathe more _regularly_ Toad." Lance told him as they closed in around him. Todd jumped to the ceiling above.

"Come on guys I don't smell that bad do I?"

"Yes." All three replied flatly.

"This is for your own good Toad!" Lance told him.

"Mostly for _our_ good." Pietro amended.

Facing the other three members of the Brotherhood Todd did the only thing anyone in his position would of done. He bolted from the room screaming.

"Get him!"

"You'll never take me alive!"

"Don't tempt us Toad!" Lance shouted.

"Wanda save me!" Todd shouted hopping to her room.

Annoyed more by the ruckus then any interest in helping Todd Wanda came out of her room and snapped. "What are you idiots doing _now?_"

"Trying to give Toad a bath." Pietro told her. "Did you know the animal Toad here gets his name from naturally smells like vanilla?"

Wanda stood there for a second as she processed that info. "As you were." She went back into her room

"W-Wanda!" Todd cried out to no avail.

"You know Toad did it ever occur to you if he cleaned yourself up girls, such as my sister, and I can't believe I'm saying this would be interested in you?" Pietro points out. However instead of Todd getting a "eureka!" expression he instead gets an annoyed one.

"You don't think I know that? I have sensitive skin because of my mutation most soaps give me a rash!" Todd retorted before looking down. "I just found it easier to just embrace it and use it to get back and all those geeks who pick on me."

"I suppose you have an explanation for eating bugs too?" Pietro mocked.

"How about the fact there is several cultures in the world where eating bugs would be considered perfectly normal?" Todd pointed out. "I found that out on-line too, besides when your practically living on the streets you can't be picky about your next meal."

"He's got a point." Lance agreed, Fred nodded in agreement, and Pietro conceded to the point. "You have been saving us on food bills I'll give you that." He clasped his hands and a wicked grin spread across his face. "That just makes you a challenge!"

"Eh?"

"You said you had sensitive skin right? Have you ever used soap for sensitive skin?"

"No… my momma said that stuff was too expensive and what we could buy when we could was always this cheap stuff." He then gave a shiver, "And trust me yo, you do NOT want to know where I get rashes."

The others including Wanda he was listening in all blanched at those unwanted mental images.

Pietro quickly (of course) recovered. "I see so it's a matter of bad experience, habit, and spite I can understand that." He zipped over to Toad's side. "Still no need to let that run your life forever Toad I got plenty of soap for sensitive skin, I'm willing to let you try."

"I-I don't know I mean would I still be _me_ if I didn't smell?" Todd questioned. Pietro frowned and smacked Todd lightly upside the head.

"Todd you've let those _humans_, your _inferiors_, tell you how to act, I get it they called you a freak, so you became a freak to spite them, but you know what? You have us now." Pietro zips over to Lance and Fred and throws his arms around them. "You don't have to be that way anymore. You can be the you, you want to be."

"Really." Todd asked brightly.

"Really." Pietro smiled before turning into a blur and shoving a bunch of bath supplies into Todd's arms. "Now follow the instructions on the bottles and do it everyday and before you know it you'll be fighting them off with a stick." With that he shoved Todd into the bathroom, closed the door behind him, wiped his hands off, and gave the others a winning smile. "Mission accomplished gentlemen."

Several Months Later,

"Any last words Maximoff?" Cyclops asked. Scott and pretty much every other teenage boy from Bayville High were gathered around a very terrified Pietro who was up against the wall of a building completely trapped.

"Look guys when I told him he be beating them off with a stick I just said that to boost his self-esteem. I really didn't expect all the girls to start treating him like a personal air-freshener to keep around."

"That vanilla smell is rather pleasing to be around." Kurt admitted. "What? It is!" he defended from the looks the others shot him.

"Whatever can we just beat up Pietro now?" Lance asked cracking his knuckles.

"If it's alright with you boys I'd like first crack." Logan said pushing his way to the front. If it were possible Pietro paled even more.

"Laura must really like Todd's smell huh?" Kurt asked drily. Logan didn't respond merely gave a low snort.

"Is this how it ends for Quicksilver?" Pietro asked the sky staring forlornly up at the clouds.

*SNIKT*

A/N: This was going to be longer, but I lost both the direction and interest in the story. I was also stumped about ways to make Toad play "Road Runner" to everyone else's Coyote. However I felt since I started it, I needed to at least finish it even if I felt it wasn't the very best I could of done. I don't know maybe you guys will like it and I'm just mad at myself for failing to meet my intended goal for the story.


End file.
